The way we treat mothers who travel is more 1977 than 2017…

me in panama“Who will be taking care of your kids when you go on this trip? ” the assistant at the doctor’s office asked me. “Their dad,” I answered. “Oh my goodness he is going to watch them for a whole week?” she bemused. The implicit “babysit” left out. “Yep,” I answered. To which she replied, “So, is your mom going to bring him casseroles? “Well since it is not 1977, probably not, ” I chuckled. But I didn’t think it was funny. What is so crazy about a man caring for his children without his wife? I wish I could say this was the only time this happens, but the stories are countless. The mom who cornered me to tell me that Andy was “a saint” for letting me go on a trip with my sister. adorable pic of Andy and the boysThe countless accolades that pour in when people spot him at a party or on the soccer field with the boys alone. And don’t even get me started on the nearly viral photo of him at the grocery store with three boys. “You are amazing!” “How do you do it?!” Now let me give credit where credit is due. Andy IS amazingly capable. In fact, often times more capable than me. He doesn’t break into a sweat thinking about how to manage the toddler while coaching the soccer game. He wouldn’t think twice about bringing all three swimming.  He doesn’t ask me to lay out the kids clothes or to leave him a week’s worth of dinners. He’s got it and he’s good at it. 01e50f77ac5221d3857482500637ebf347b740dcd3 What people see are pictures of me traveling and they can’t help but think to themselves what a neglectful, bad mother I must be. They don’t see that 4 months out of the year I am alone while my husband is away traveling. They don’t see me wrangling kids into the car in the morning, cuddling them when they are sick, and yes dragging all three across the aisles of Target. I am not complaining and I certainly don’t need accolades. I am glad it is me at home and not on the road so much, but I would love less judgement. For some reason, even though it is 2017 and women’s lib has been alive and well for decades, people especially other women, believe that mother’s belong at home. That mother’s should be martyrs. No one would think to pat a mom on the back for going to the grocery store. Heaven’s no that’s her “job”. 014edddb6300e8abb23f8759f006d19d0e3a6a7d31 The reason this mentality is still pervasive is because we  spread it around. Moms should be encouraged to be themselves in addition to being wives and mothers. I know I would be a fraction of myself without the week-long adventure abroad I take with my sister every year. The planning and anticipation along with dreaming of it sustain me through the long days. I bring my kids with me in my heart and in my mind, but when I am standing out looking into the vast great world, I am just little ole me. me in machu picchuI am  proud of what I am teaching my boys about gender roles. My hope is that they grow up to be the kind of men, the kind of husbands, to encourage their wives to be their genuine selves and to dually raise their children. IMG_1997So, to all the moms out there, let’s build eachother up. Let’s encourage eachother to live our dreams. We can still be the same amazing superhero moms we are. I promise. SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES Whoever you are, wherever you are, take a step closer to living your true self today…. xo, Bree

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